pee jokes one liners
75. What do snow and friends have in common? Because it's also called a restroom! WebThe man says, imma just teac. Who wants to know? Poodini. All these years he'd been letting potential income slip through his fingers. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Funny one-liners. I saw a big cat wearing a very colorful hat and cape the other day. Why do doctors say 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea? Everyone told her that they stink. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? ", Can anyone answer this riddle? Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Stinker Bell! Whats something great about poop jokes? I hate spelling errors. 2. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. What do you need in order to make a small fortune on Wall Street? All they said was, Bach, Bach, Bach, 24. Laugh out loud with our BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. Knock, knock. What do you call a steak thats been knighted by the queen? Luckily, it isnt something that can stop your day. An arm and a leg. Yes, our bird feed has been infested with more bird feed." When I opened the door i felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically and the ghostly sound stopped, terrified I did what I had to and went back to bed. Check out our collections of cheesy pickup lines and our ever-popular dad jokes. 56. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? When it has a leek in it! Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. I love my toilet. Gifted. 9. 2. What is the difference between a neurologist and an urologist? Thanks for coming! the veterinarian who prescribes birth-control pills for dogs? 2. What do you call crystal clear urine? Nobel, so I knock knocked. Not a joke Wear Depends! What do you call diarrhea that you get from Dominos? 2.Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. 3. Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". 5. 2. The picked up the phone and said. Eclipse it. Why are the urologist's pee jokes always so funny? Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! 97. 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? When a guy sees another guy at a urinal and makes sure to pee 2 spots away? . What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people? A few minutes later Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Yeah, they got him on possession. What happens if you miss the toilet while trying to take a pee? 59. 4. What is the difference between a hematologist and a urologist? Why is it called a urine test? Europe. 'Cause he was already scared stiff! Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 ), 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments. We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. 35. Q. Knock, knock. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. 53. Which I immediately followed up with, "Yeah it was. Because one guy likes it. When bears poop in the forest, the smell is un-bear-able. 80. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Did you know Chuck Norris had the idea to can his urine as a beverage? Q. Why did the med student decide to specialize in urology? To pee what was on the other side. He was a whiz kid. Love is like a fart. Just a phew! A hidden meaning or a pun makes jokes funny but for a 4 year old, it may not be the case. Q. What do octopuses do after using the toilet? 2. Stinkerbell. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Or to take arm against a see of urine and by opposing relive it. What does Superman call his bathroom? 6. You know, if you pee in the swimming pool, urine trouble! He was a lion thief. But while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to. A. Wanna hear a poop joke? 32. Captain Hooky. Q. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. Im feeling really wiped. 4. 93. Dr. Dre. I feel bad for toilets. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! 71. Q. We've been through a lot of shit together. Q. Q. Whats the best snack for watching a movie that sucks? . So Im sure youll like them. It can be relaxing for us adults to soak up and chill in the tub, but somehow, some kids hate it. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 I hear the class slowly fill with groans and "oh my god"s followed by some guilty chuckles. So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. Poop jokes arent my favorite jokes. Yesterday my doctor told me my chronic diarrhea is inherited. It was clogged. Use these one liners at your own risk. What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? Please add a link to this article. Dropped a few dad jokes at t in the park last weekend, When did I stop sleeping with my ass in the air- 15, When did I stop dropping my pants and underwear to my ankles to pee at a urinal- 14. He was a whiz kid. A. Urine is the clear winner at #1, but poop is a solid #2! little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". Why did the urologist cross the road? They both deal with a lot of crap. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! The agent then says that's not fair. 61. Wanna hear a poop joke? A. Control-P. Q. The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. Now you say, Control freak who?. Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? 3. What did one kidney say to another at the gym? Funny One-Liners 1. 3. Urine our thoughts! School. They both deal with a lot of crap. 2. Both will come out when its time for them to come out. When he talks, it isnt a conversation. Call the squat team. To get to the bottom. He didnt finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? To get to the other side. Why does Donald Trump only get his Viagra from American pharmaceutical sources? 72. Still craving more? Me: We just passed a rest stop too What do you call a magical poop? A bis-cat. A. We definitely have more for you. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. 46. What happens to an illegally parked frog? 73. He worked it out with a pencil. Q. Nah, they always stink. A cab. A. He never reads any of mine. Read: Funny food jokes and puns that are totally hilarious! Dung-arees. If pooping is a call of nature. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Why is sperm white and urine yellow? As I was working, I was listening to Parliment Funkadelic on Pandora and I came to the realization that I was listening to P-Funk as I was dealing with pee funk. Q. Required fields are marked *. Son: No, not yet. When should you make vegetable soup in the toilet? You might get the I dont get it from your kids. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? The man wen back to the other man and said, There is no hope, you will die., I hate it when people are at my house and ask do you have a bathroom? What answer Are they expecting no, we pee in the yard. What does Woody say when he has bad gas? 3. Keep it flush with the wall. Whos there? One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. What did the urologist say to the associate doctor when he hired him? You look flushed! Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. Funny one-liners. Q. . Conscience: the small voice that makes you feel smaller. Because he was stuffed. Scientists have recently discovered a food that greatly reduces sex drive. ", She replies, "Well, there's a golf course behind my house and when golfers need to go to the bathroom, they stick their penis through a hole in my fence and pee into my yard. Darn tootin'! 2. why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth? Pee, therefore queue. Why do pterodactyls pee on the side of the toilet bowl at night? We've been through a lot of shit together. Q. Q. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. We hope you enjoyed all these funny jokes because we sure did! Sir Loin. I once had a case of diarrhea. A. Its to take your dump and it doesnt discriminate, young and old, whatever gender you are, and just like our favorite seat, these toilet puns are for everyone to sit on and enjoy. What happened when the guy mixed up his depression medication with Viagra? Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. 92. Whos there? Q. 22. There are some peeing tryed jokes no one knows ( to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Do these genes make me look fat?. Outlaws are wanted. A. Urologists only work on one bone. 4. Yeah, they got him on possession. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " . I have a hard time getting it out. Why are there no bathrooms in some banks? It never came out! We share them in our weekly newsletter. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. Why were there candles on a toilet seat? Because their wives just wouldn't stand for it. What is the opposite of urine? Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. Its part of an anti-litter campaign. A. No? Whether tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention. They didnt all bring their wallets, so I ended up paying the lions share. Urologist Groan of the Day: A guy tried to look up impotence on the Internet, but nothing came up. 4. I hate spelling errors. What do you call a bear with no teeth? If a dog goes to poop, He's 4 years old and walked into the kitchen while I was at my aunt and uncle's house. Q. To make it to the bottom! Whats happened Paddy?" WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. I hate spelling errors. Q. 4. Flush Gordon. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. Our bag of bird feed has been infested with beetles. Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. Q. 57. What do you call a pirate that skips class? It leaked so they had to release it early. 64. Nothing, if you're a dickhead. They just wash up on shore. Mississippi. So brunettes can remember them. Why did the guy take a urine test today? They were negative. Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" 1. 6. Why cant you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. If you have trouble peeing, Urine trouble, I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. I had to text my wife about that one. 2. Q. Why do ducks have feathers? Q. A. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the mans penis. Why did the guy's wife leave him after he spent all their money on multiple penis enlargement surgeries? Q. To make it to the bottom! An arm and a leg. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus Why was Eeyore down the toilet? Shampoo. Its called wedding cake. A. Addalittledictamy. Teach a man to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Anybody with you? What does superman call his toilet? It never came out! Euro-pee-an! Because he was looking for Pooh! So mind your pees in queues. Your own are just about bearable, but everyone elses are horrendous. A. WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Because it's all about number one. A. 7. Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? Q. Just finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: "Did you just piss without flushing"? 85. Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? Among the things that are so simple even a child can operate them are parents. Because eye doctors dilate! So that men can tell if they're coming or going! Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. Because they have two left feet. The man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. The smile looks really good on you. Because it was stuck in a crack. Well, you either stink or swim! I come again and pee twice. Why couldnt the police officers find the toilet thief? The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. To get to the bottom! A tee-totaler. Pee implies queue. Why did the basketball player go to the bathroom? 45. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Makani Ravello Harrelson Has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson's Daughter, Does Bailey Zimmerman Have a Wife? A. Broncos are #1! She yawned and said, "oh so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator. For more laughs, check our What Do You Call Jokes for Kids. Its your doo diligence! If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? 55. A peeping tom. Q. We recommend our users to update the browser. Whos there? What did the zookeeper say after the python broke free? He gives on himself and his sister asks, "Wheres my cup?". 1. 87. Q. What do you call a pirate that skips class? I spotted a lion at the zoo the other day. It runs in your genes. We also collected the absolute best funny jokes of all time. A Pee Body Award. Ctrl+P A. Can you explain this? The man replies,Well, I will bet on pretty much anything. ', Are you the one who signed up for the pee drinking club because if so urine. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? Because it was afraid of its bark! They arrived to a sticky hostage situation. He couldnt hold it in. Advertisement. To make it to the bottom! The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. 34. Whats the definition of surprise? What do you get when blind guy tries to talk to you at a urinal? It was Chewie. She goes to talk to her husband about it: Aunt: Yes. I saw my urologist the other day, and he really pissed me off! Whats the similarity between poop and talent? Subordinate Clauses. Why didnt the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? 'Cause they go oui oui all over the house. A. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? A receding hare line. Quick little blurb I wrote in class: The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Q. The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him. Why couldnt the pirate play cards? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? Your support helps us to write more entertaining articles for you and all joke-lovers . I come again and pee twice. Ha! says the barman. 2. Urologists have been blessed with golden opportunities, know how to go with the flow, and make the lives of their patients a wee bit better. Advice to husbands: Try praising your wife now and then, even if it does startle her at first. Why did the rooster cross the road? If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. Why did the bakers hands stink? I was pulling up carpet and padding Sunday because we adopted two very rude Husky puppies last year that like to urinate in the house. Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes. Best Poop Jokes and Puns. 99. 2. 3.Why didn't the toilet paper make it across the road? Because he was sitting on the deck. The next 3 nights the same thing happened and finally i decided i had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. 3. 1. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Where do sheep like to play? A. What is the sound of no-hands texting? Because he was dribbling. Because the p is silent. the racing snail that got rid of his shell? Two men walk into a bar. They smell funny. What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? Was I born in a nest or a hive?. What do you call prank plastic dog poop. What do you call an obese weatherman that studies penises? 78. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. A. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? Dam! Everyone has an embarrassingly funny experience with poop. 48. 4. No? Me: willow ptarmigan (pronounced willow tarmigan. Did you hear they arrested the devil? WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. He says he just can't come. Its a pain having to deal with constipation. 1. It is even better when his friends are around. A new study shows that one-third of people dont floss, while the other two-thirds couldnt answer with all the local anesthetic in their mouths. 70. School who? I never knew what happiness was until I got marriedand then it was too late. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. We've collected the best of urine sample jokes and puns just for you. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Diarrhea can drain you your energy and its no fun at all. A. I pee, eh. Someone stole the toilet at the police station last night. What's it called when you use a pay toilet in France? 5. A. Pis-tachio. The nurse at the sperm bank told a guy to masturbate in the cup. I was sitting inside the mall but outside the shop waiting and wishing I was dead. Why are elephants constantly in the bathroom? Their first daughter was born with a silver spoon in her mouth. Why was six afraid of seven? Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Im stuck on the toilet! A. Urine Trouble! Because it's also called a restroom! I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery. 68. So mind your pees in queues. Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. A guy saw a penny in a urinal and wondered what they'd wished for. How did the hospital basketball league end the season? The bathroom is over there on your left. WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. Advertisement. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. What's the difference between a podiatrist and an urologist? WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? Laughter is the best medicine.
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